This is a guest blog post from Ngo Ay Smith, my wife's illegitimate half-brother. All responsibility for what is written here is his alone.
So, how, like, does Peyton Manning know he’s Peyton Manning?
No dude, I’m serious. Just think about this, cause it's been blowing my mind for the last hour, ever since I fired up and put on that Styx album: Peyton Manning - as described on ESPN - is the most powerful quarterback in the Universe. But how does he know that there isn’t an even more powerful QB - call him “SuperManning” - who has chosen to stay completely hidden up until now, maybe holding out for a better contract, or getting the roids out of his system, or something? Since the hypothetical SuperManning is, hypothetically, even more powerful than Manning, there’s no way for Manning to know that SuperManning does not in fact exist, cause he'd have SuperManning invisibility powers, or that it wasn't, like, really secretly SuperManning who threw that last screen pass.
This is not false whether or not there is not a SuperManning or not! Even if there is not a lack of no absence of SuperManning - even if it is not the case that Manning really is not the most powerful QB in the Universe - Manning will never not know for sure that this is not the case, because maybe John Fox is just messing with his head, or not! And of course if there were a SuperManning, then he also could not be certain that there was not a SuperDuperManning, somewhere even further down the bench from where he has been hiding!
Conclusion: The most powerful QB in the Universe, whoever that happens to be, will never be certain of His (or Her) status as such. And this really proves that Manning should vote for ObamaCare. And so should we all. And so should we all.