The NP Turkey

We have a real problem this Thanksgiving:

"With a big turkey, you start running into some big problems. It takes longer to thaw if it's frozen and then exponentially longer to cook."

This means that if your 8-pound turkey cooks in 4 hours, your 16-pounder will take perhaps 1000 hours, and your 28-pounder is going to be in the oven for maybe 30,000 years.

We need to solve P = NP? fast, so that we can see if there is a polynomial-time way of cooking our birds!


  1. Are you assuming that the cooking time grows by 100% for every extra hour after 8 ? if so, if it grew by just 10% wouldn't that still be exponential growth but deliver much more realistic numbers ?

    1. You see rob, this is called a *joke*. The point of it is to be*funny* not to accurately analyze turkey cooking times.

      Nevertheless, I guarantee you that turkey cooking time does not exhibit exponential growth. In fact it looks to be O(n):

    2. Well, I was just worried that some of your readers may have had their Thanksgiving ruined by your inaccurate cooking advice if I hadn't intervened.

    3. He once posted something about cannibals. Now that was shitty Thanksgiving.


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