David Attenborough, empty posh accent

I was alerted to the fact that this "naturalist" apparently doesn't care what nonsense they give him to read when I was binge-watching the "Wild [X]" (where X = "India" or "China" or "Indochina") series, and heard him describe a encounter between two red pandas as "a male driving off a male intruder," and in a subsequent episode, describe the exact same footage as "a male trying to attract a female." (I actually went and re-played the earlier episode to make sure.)

In Blue Planet, Attenborough treats the viewer to such gems as:

"Spring comes as the sun begins to climb higher in the sky."

Nope, by the time spring comes, the sun has been climbing higher in the sky for three months!

"It is now mid-summer, and the days are getting longer."

No, mid-summer's day is when the days begin getting shorter. And if he means "the middle of the summer," the quote is even worse.

"Kelp, like other plants..."

Sigh: kelp is not a plant.

Plus, there are the ubiquitous vacuities: "In the [Amazon rain forest / Sahara desert / Arctic tundra / African savannah / wherever the heck they are filming] life is a struggle for survival."


  1. So if you remove every part of the speech that contains no real substance, what remains?

    1. Well, he does describe *some* things correctly!

  2. According to Wikipedia he is a “national treasure “ and a poll of the 100 greatest Britons ranked him above Babbage, Watt, Maxwell, Jenner, Wallis, and Chaucer. So show a little respect, Bucko!


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