City Folk Can Be Weird

OK, in New York City, there are muggers, speeding taxis, electrified subway lines, drug shootings, crashing helicopters, bricks falling off of buildings, exploding man holes... and what are people all worked up about? Opossums! "Brooklynites say city officials must take action to ensure the safety of residents." People, they're friggin' opossums! They weigh about ten pounds, don't eat humans, and when you bother them, they play dead. Get a grip, you bunch of marones.