Trump's Running Mate Will Be...

Oprah Winfrey. Or the closest he can get to Oprah.

Think about it: every personal fear voters have about Trump will be assuaged by having her (or someone like her) on the ticket:

Too volatile? He'll have Oprah there to calm and counsel him.

Racist? How could he be, if Oprah is running with him?

Anti-woman? See previous answer.

Remember, Trump has approached the whole campaign like a reality TV show. He's not going to ask, "Who would be most qualified if I die?" (not that conventional candidates do, but they pretend to) but "Who can I be paired with that will give me the biggest boost in ratings?"


  1. You're talking sense here. However, there is one big problem: Oprah almost certainly doesn't want the job, and there is no one remotely like Oprah. Rikki Lake? Whoopi Goldberg? Oprah is regarded by her fans as on a whole 'nother level of auctoritas, not just an entertainer but a hero and role model. If she turns Trump down, maybe he'll try for Beyoncé next. Okay, ladies, let's get in formation!

    P.S. Always stay gracious; best revenge is your paper.

    1. I bet he could convince her: first of all, they are almost certainly friends, have hung out at the same parties, etc. he will tell her ( quite truthfully ) that Hillary is the candidate of Wall Street and continue will warfare, and that the only chance to stop her is to unite and defeat the war party. I could see her buying it.

      What is the PS about? What paper are you referring to?

    2. I guess you're a little behind on memorising Beyoncé lyrics. She's just giving a miscellaneous encouragement here to live well. The only paper in question is cash money. I forgot I was responding to someone who has written actual academic papers.