"Heh, heh, damn you're smooth!"

After reading Jeff Tucker's bold article on the uselessness of shaving cream, I was intrigued. And yet, I was scared. How could I shave in the shower without the benefit of a mirror? And wouldn't I cut myself horribly?

But, with some trepidation, this morning I took the plunge. And I can happily report that my shave was no worse than it always is. I shall never again cream my face. (If you're going to make a double entendre it better be clever.)


  1. Woody7:36 AM

    There once was a lonely knave
    Often woke he with a stave
    When ‘bout to cream
    Forward he’d lean
    There, now he’s ready to shave!

    Yeah, groan, I know it still needs work.

    Author missed the crux of the biscuit: Why do we shave at all?

  2. I don't use cream either (and, yeah, those double entrendres better be clever.)

    My first guess at the origins is that somewhere along the line, somebody needed to get rid of a case of lice and that someone's lady friend probably giggled in a very charming way over it.

  3. Woody5:42 PM

    That sounds plausible. Or maybe his lady-friend commanded him to get rid of that stuff on his chin. Reminds of me of Zappa's Poodle Lecture (You Can't Do That on Stage Anymore. Vol 6 Disk 1 Track 2)

    Facial hair seems to have gone in and out of style for most of human history, but what are these young, clean-shaven whippersnappers (intended) doing?

    I just saw an advertisement on Amazon for a Phillip's Men's Bodygroomer, "Join the Body Shaving Trend." Just when you get over the self-mutilation craze of piercing and tattooing, they want to abolish hair! Are we supposed to be disgusted with the human body?

    And another thing... as I rant like Grandpa Simpson... What's with these muffintops? Since we're supposed to be disgusted with natural forms, why don't these teenieboppers go on diets and spend some time at the gym before they expose their midsections?

  4. Woody6:17 PM

    Just to be on topic:

    I use shaving cream. I've tried shaving without it, and it's not pleasant. I get about 30 shaves from a razor. Without shaving cream, I suspect the cost of shaving would rise substantially. Even if there were no cost benefit, I'd stick with the cream.

  5. I use shaving cream.

    Just not for shaving.

  6. Woody8:42 PM

    I remember a guy who owned a dairy store who put his name on cans of shaving cream. I think it took several years to work through the initial inventory. I don't think the consumer thought, "Now, there's an attractive man. If I use some of this cream, maybe I too can be attractive?"

    The other day I went for a haircut at a place called Hair Masters. No, I didn't go in with a bondage outfit or anything like that. I noticed above the door written in small letters, "Regis Hairstyles". So I said to the woman servicing me, "I'd like a Regis." "A what?" "A Regis, you know, like Regis Philbin. I noticed the sign above the door. Don't all the young hipsters want to look like Regis?" She told me that Regis was just the name of the corporation, and that in any event I didn't have enough hair left for a proper Regis. I later asked her if she'd shave my back. She told me that I'd probably like that, but she declined.

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