Updating the Christmas classics

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We all love those familiar Christmas songs around this time of year. But let's face it, their themes don't resonate with the modern listener like they did with those of the past.

So here is my first effort to incorporate more modern charcters into these songs:

Rusty the blowman
Kept his twenties in a roll
With a runny nose and a glass crack pipe
And two eyes that never close

Rusty the blowman
Is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of blow but the crackheads know
How he ran out one day.

But there must have been some powder in
That old dollar bill he found.
For when he placed it up his nose
He began to dance around!

O, Rusty the blowman
Was alive as he could be,
And the crackheads say he could laugh and play
Every morning until 5:30.

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