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Friday, July 23, 2004

Buy Her Beware

Today, I made my semiannual pilgrimage to the department store to buy new brassieres. I arrived to discover that a large proportion of bras this season are of the Wonderbra brand variety: The kind that give a lady the ample bosom that nature did not intend. The original Wonderbra was there but nearly every other brand is featuring a bra that provides an extra letter of womanly goodness. It seemed to run about 70% super-padded. The remaining 30% appeared to be made up of the ultra-sheer variety or the minimizer bras which do exactly what they claim to do. It seemed that nearly all bras featured at eye level were designed to amplify or reduce a woman's breast. Forget about truth in advertising this season, fellas.

Which kind did I get? I'm not telling!

6 comments:

  1. I can't bare the suspense!

    ReplyDelete
  2. A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

    'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?'

    'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

    'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

    Confused, the man asked what were the types.

    The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

    Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?'

    The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A man walked into the ladies' department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

    "What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

    "Type?"inquires the man, "There is more than one type?"

    "Look Around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras," she replied.

    Confused, the man asked what the types were. The saleslady replied, "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

    Still confused, the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

    The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple...the Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army typelifts up the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous10:43 AM

    Apparently, women have to be equally wary. An article in yesterday's New York Times talks about how men's underpants are no longer the Fruit of the Looms your father used to pick up at Woolworth's. The "welter of choices" includes "action bikins" and "athletic strings" and shorts with breathable mesh pouches or waistband condom pockets (how convenient!). Let's not forget the "sling support" design, designed to "lift, project forward and improve the wearer's profile." Puts Speedo's in a whole new light...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1:06 AM

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    ReplyDelete