Today, I made my semiannual pilgrimage to the department store to buy new brassieres. I arrived to discover that a large proportion of bras this season are of the Wonderbra brand variety: The kind that give a lady the ample bosom that nature did not intend. The original Wonderbra was there but nearly every other brand is featuring a bra that provides an extra letter of womanly goodness. It seemed to run about 70% super-padded. The remaining 30% appeared to be made up of the ultra-sheer variety or the minimizer bras which do exactly what they claim to do. It seemed that nearly all bras featured at eye level were designed to amplify or reduce a woman's breast. Forget about truth in advertising this season, fellas.
Which kind did I get? I'm not telling!