OK imagine there is some group of people--maybe from a small town in Italy, or maybe just the guys from a particular family with extreme views--who are mortified by the idea of being beaten up.
So what they do is, whenever someone wants to fight and the proud guy knows he might lose, he offers to beat himself up to the satisfaction of the other guy. I.e. the "winner" sits there and watches you just destroy yourself--like Ed Norton does in his boss's office--until the other guy says, "OK man, that's enough! You're really gonna hurt yourself!"
How does everyone feel about this? Is the guy in question a crazy bad*ss, or cowardly? Keep in mind, this is for real. For this to work against a guy who was actually going to pummel you, you would (a) really have to sell it to get him to back off for 60 seconds and watch, and (b) really have to mess yourself up. So be careful before you dismiss it as wussy.
Take place in human diners, and show one omelette after another being cooked and devoured.
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