STOP HOARDING MONEY

By Rachael Anne -
Fools! A new dollar coin featuring US presidents, meant to peacefully coexist with the Sacagawea coin, is about to be approved by the Senate. Considering the astounding failure of the Sacagawea dollar, you may wonder, "Why another one?" Well, Congress is trying to recreate the astounding success of the state quarters, which garnered an estimated $5 billion in profits. My God! Five billion dollars because people like pretty pictures. What a goddamned stupid thing to do, collect brand-new quarters, thus giving the government tons of money AND an excuse to fire up the presses to make more.

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