The hottest celebrity summer diets

The cover of People magazine held the headline "The hottest celebrity summer diets." Those are the shadows that our puppet-masters cast on the cave walls!

But surprisingly there is one celebrity diet they left off the list: surprising because this diet is so pain-free that not only is it easy to get started on it, but once you get going you're going to find you'll never want to quit!

So let us turn to...

The Lindsey Lohan diet:

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1/2 gram cocaine
3 vodka and tonics with a twist of lime

Lunch
Handful macadamia nuts
1/2 gram cocaine
3 vodka and tonics with a twist of lime

Dinner
Alaska smoked salmon, avocado and arugula with lemon-chipotle mayonaisse on a sprouted-grain ciabatta roll
1 gram cocaine
5 vodka and tonics with a twist of lime
1 ambien

Now, go out for a drive, wake up parked in some godforsaken rest stop or back alley, drive home, and repeat!

1 comment:

  1. A little over a "teener" a day? That sounds about right.

    ReplyDelete