Thursday, January 09, 2014

Dear US government

I pledge to stop being so paranoid about your activities, on the conditions that:

1) You reduce the number of microscopic drones following me everywhere;
2) You stop trying to pin that whole Bobby Kennedy thing on me; and
3) You keep your trans-dimensional quantum agents out of my dreams.


1 comment:

  1. "People tell me I'm paranoid, but I know that they're just out to get me."


Old-fashioned excuse: "The dog ate my homework."

Modern excuse: "Dual-factor authentication ate my ability to do my homework."