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Thursday, March 24, 2005

The Man of Get Real

I was walking through Sears the other day and noticed a kid's pajama top that depicted a very muscular Superman shredding a bunch of chains that had been fastened around his upper body. For some reason, this really bothered me, and (as is my wont) I shall now burden you, gentle reader, with my objections...

First of all, who the heck tries to capture Superman with chains? These things weren't coated with Kryptonite, mind you; they looked like regular metal chains.

Second of all, how did these moronic criminals get the chains on in the first place? Was Superman sleeping? Or did he let the bad guys fasten the chains for kicks, then rip them apart for the benefit of the guy taking a snapshot for the Sears catalog?

The only scenario I can think of is this: Terrorists storm the Daily Planet and start tying people up, not with rope, but with chains. This includes Clark Kent, who obviously must bide his time. After the terrorists look the other way, Kent ducks into the john, turns into Superman (without disturbing the chains) and then flexes his pecs and biceps and snaps the chains off.

1 comment:

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