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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Fun with English

Bird Gods
From ESPN writer Jayson Stark, commenting on Yadlier Molina's game-winning home run last night:
"But not even Endy Chavez could leap high enough or far enough to keep this ball from landing in the Cardinals' Game 7 pantheon."
So the Cardinals have a temple honoring all of their gods -- or is it just all of their "Game 7" gods? -- just over the left field fence in Shea Stadium? Why would the Mets allow that? No wonder they lost!
Of course that is to take Stark literally. But what would he mean figuratively? The home-run ball has now become one of the Cardinals' gods? Or perhaps it just landed among the Game 7 gods, maybe hitting one of them right in the pantheon? Ouch!

Dick Blumenthal Before He Dicks You
On the radio today, I head Connecticut Attorney General Dick "Is There a Camera Around I Can Jump in Front of?" Blumenthal declare: "The electrical industry in Connecticut is now a regulatory black hole."
Does the Dickster have any idea what a black hole is? Does he mean to say that the mass of regulation concerning the CT electrical industry is so dense that it will suck all nearby regulation into it?

Sign on the George Washington Bridge:
"Occupants must remain in disabled vehicles."
Is that supposed to be a definition or a law? If definition, it's true enough -- an occupant is someone who is in the vehicle. If a law, it's remarkably hard to find a violator -- someone who exits the vehicle is no loner an occupant, and so can go wherever they want!

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