Keep Your Customers Happy

I've heard that "the customer is always right," but I've never had customer service like I had today in the dentist's office. I went in for a cleaning and got 32 hits of hydrocodone (big 10s) for my trouble. The dentist said I need to come back every three months for a cleaning. I have insurance, and he has a deal!

Comments

  1. Anonymous8:56 PM

    Madness.

    Can I get a few of those? Oh, wait, they give me unbearable stomach cramps.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There must be a lesson here about the wonders of the marketplace, moral hazard, paternalism and government over-reaching, but I am reluctant to open up the can.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I must have very "uptight" body language. I can't imagine a dentist trying to entice me with such an arrangement. A pity, as I surely could benefit from 32 hits of hydrocodone more than Woody needs them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm a guy who shunned the dentist for years, and I've had very little contact with doctors for the last 20 years. Until this week I had never tried Hydrocodone, but here's some free advice: Explain to the dentist your teeth are very sensitive. Pain is an individual experience. Ask for extra Novocain before they begin a procedure to reinforce your claim to sensitivity.

    I have an additional problem that might have given me credibility. I have an impacted wisdom tooth that is causing damage to the molar in front of it. My dentist referred me to an oral surgeon, whom I will consult with this week about removal. I'm going to complain about the pain and the wait for surgery. I was supposed to have this tooth removed over 25 years ago, but I'll play this one for another opiate allocation

    BTW, I've been enjoying this prescription. This morning I had to take my kid to a soccer game. I had a game enhancer beforehand, and brought my ipod. I listened to the album "Maggot Brain" while my son played and the idiot soccer parents bleated around me. "Highly" recommended.

    ReplyDelete
  5. As an additional BTW...

    Lest you think they gave me my allocation for my wisdom tooth, I'll tell you that on my second day of deep cleaning I informed the dentist that I was already stoned on arrival. Before my cleaning was done I was told that I should take another one within the next two hours... before the Novocain wore off.

    ReplyDelete

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