1) Is there a new language called "Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound"? Because I try to listen to movies in French these days (to help me learn it), so I'm always looking on the "Languages" section on the back of the video boxes at the store, and today, in the section, I found a video that claimed the dialogue was in the language, "Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound." Does anyone know where this is spoken?
2) Are these the worst lyrics ever written?
There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair
Palm trees are growin' and a warm breezes a blowing
I picture myself right there
On some beach, somewhere"
I just picture the guy, sitting around, trying to come up with the particular beach that would capture what he wanted, and finally going, "Screw it-- some beach, somewhere -- those dopey country fans will still eat it up."
3) Why didn't our parents (for those roughly my age) realize there was something wrong when the "cranberry sauce" they would feed us at Thanksgiving was not a sauce at all, but a big blob of red goo? Folks, make your own cranberry sauce! It takes about 15 minutes, and is as different from the stuff in the can as pate is from a pile of dog crap. (Also, make you own salad dressing. There is not a single bottled dressing that you could not improve upon with about five minutes of work. To start: mix a good olive oil and a balsamic vinager at about a four-to-one ratio in a jar. Add salt, black pepper, garlic paste, oregano, and thyme. Shake well. (That's about two minutes of work there!) Now compare the taste of what you've just made to the "Italian dressing" you can buy at the store. You will never buy it again.
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