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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Trolling, Trolling, Over the Seven Seas...

A play in one act, performed everyday across the world.

BLOGGER: When we examined moon rocks...

TROLL: The moon is made of cheese! You are such an idiot.

BLOGGER: Well, no cheese is a joint product of milk-producing animals and humans and since neither exist on the moon...

TROLL: Just because all the cheese YOU know of comes about that way, you think all cheese must. It's people like you who block the path of science.

BLOGGER: Well, per Occam's Razor...

TROLL: Oh, please! Like some medieval idiot who believed that the moon was a perfect celestial sphere has anything to say about modern science!

BLOGGER: Surely we have to be careful to separate the philosophical issues from the scientific...

TROLL: 'Philosophy' is just a word for areas science hasn't conquered yet.

BLOGGER: Isn't that itself a philosophical statement?

TROLL: That is just the sort of attitude that would have stopped the Wright Brothers from ever flying!

[The above continues for as long as BLOGGER will keep going. Trolls are apparently immortal and can dilate time. Finally, one day...]

TROLL: So, why don't you humor me, and show me what is wrong with my claim that the moon is made of cheese?

BLOGGER: No thanks.

TROLL: I knew it! I knew it! You have absolutely no counter-argument to my contention that the moon is made of cheese! It's just a dogmatic belief of yours. Wheeeeee!

5 comments:

  1. Yep, that looks exactly like our recent iteration of your "machines will never think" profundity, you sure got me there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Silas, to see what I mean, contemplate this: I have never, ever made any claim remotely like "machines will never think."

      You ignore what I actually say, make up things I have never said, address them, and then complain when I finally get sick of pointing out "You are not remotely addressing what I said."

      Again: no thanks. I am a very busy man, with real books and papers to write and whatnot.

      Delete
  2. Can we see your latest paper, or do you still paywall them in case someone might want to see what you spend your time on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Silas, your day is rapidly sinking into such idiocy that I think you'd better go to sleep quickly and hope tomorrow is better: You really think the *author* of a journal article gets to decide if it is behind a paywall or not?!

      Delete