Why Materialists Crack Me Up

Now, don't get me wrong: I love materialists. Some of my best friends are materialists! But they actually seem to think that idealists, dualists, panpsychists, etc. are unaware of the existence of neurons! So conversations with them go roughly like:

Non-Materialist: [Spends a paragraph explaining Whitehead's panpsychism.]

Materialist: Neurons!

NM: Yes, I am aware of neurons. [Spends a paragraph explaining how Aquinas would have understood the relationship between the brain and our thoughts.]

M: Neural firing patterns!

NM: Yes, I know, there are neural firing patterns associated with our thinking. [Spends a paragraph showing how Berkeley would have fit this into his metaphysics.]

M: Synapses!

NM: OK, I'm not posting any more of these.

M: Close-minded coward!

[By the way, you might think that comments are closed on this post, but that is just some faulty neural wiring causing you to believe that.]

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