Dumb Citgo Ad

On my way to the office I heard an ad for Citgo saying something like, "And because our stations are locally owned, every time you make a purchase at Citgo you know you're creating jobs in your community."

Riiight, because those dang absentee owners of rival gas stations refuse to hire employees who live locally. They fly in kids from Paris to pump gas in Idaho.


  1. Bob, Bob, you've got to read between the lines -- the locally owned Citgo is a front for a Mafia operation including numbers, prostitution, and drug dealing. The absentee owners of other stations would never branch out into such a variety of local businesses.

  2. Heh. I actually tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, like maybe they're referring to the owners who go and work at the place. But even there, the non-local owners would just have to hire extra manager(s) (who live locally) to perform those duties.

    I suppose they could justify the ad by saying if the owners are local, then any profits (above salary for their own labor) are more likely to be spent locally, thus creating employment in other local businesses.

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