My New Coffeepot

My wife bought this fancy pants, hi-tech sleek black and chrome thing. This morning it beeped. Went I went down to check it, the display read,

"Coffee is ready. That new brand you got: meh.

"But what do you think about that Santorum sweep in the Midwest? Game changer, huh?

"By the way, the fridge says the blue cheese ain't doin' so well. Just sayin'."